The New Dating Rules…according to me!!!

Since becoming single about 6 months ago, I have been going through several life changes.  These changes include improving myself inside and out!  Different hair color, new clothes, working out, etc..  You get the picture.

In these last months, I have been actively dating, and man o’ man, has it been interesting!!  So, yesterday I was at lunch with a good friend and we came up with a set of rules that every young, single woman should adhere to.  I am not the only person in my group of friends that is going through life changes…  So, to my friends who have dumped the dead weight in their life, this is for you too!!  Here goes…

THE RULEZ!

1. No Insta-Fam’s -  Since myself and my friends are childless, it would be best for us to date childless men as well.

2. No Peter Pan’s -  No men over 40, there probably is a problem with a man who’s over 40 and never been married.  Let’s be serious here people!

3. No Short-Armed Alligators -  simply put we don’t want me with arms too short to reach their wallet or check.

4. No Self-Employed Consultants -  a Consultant is proper English for “unemployed”, no thanks!

5. No pool boys/gardeners -  pool boys and gardeners make minimum wage, nuff said!

6. No Roommates/Bunk Beds -  if he’s out of college then he shouldn’t have roommates, need I say more…

7. No Left-Handed Pirates -  chronic/secret masturbation, if they’re not man enough to own up, then there is a HUGE problem!!!

8. No Self-Centered Pricks -  we don’t like selfish dickheads!

9. No Couch Commandos -  we don’t like men that can’t het their asses off the freakin’ couch!!!!

There you have it!  If you feel I have left something off this list, hit me back and let me know what you think I should add and I will take it into consideration!!

Have a great day!

 

Thinking about going Poo-Free…

There is this whole Green movement going on out there.  I was watching one of the news magazine shows last week (either 20/20 or Dateline) and they were interviewing a woman who recycles so much that she only has 1 can of garbage a month.  I thought about that and decided, I don’t like to compost and buying in bulk doesn’t work for me, and I’m not ready for that at this point in my life. 

So, today, I was reading about going shampoo and conditioner free.  And I thought, “this could be my small contribution to the green movement!”  I’ve tried a shampoo and conditioner brand called Organix that’s not harmful to the environment.  It wasn’t great, my hair was in awful shape!!  A HOT MESS!!! 

Going “poo-free” calls for using baking soda as shampoo and apple cider vinegar as conditioner.  I’m going to do some more investigating into this movement and set up a controlled experiment.  Especially, some before and after pics!  I will keep you all posted…

 

If you’re a Howard Stern Fan…

If you listen to Howard Stern on satellite radio, either Sirius or XM, (I have Sirius) then you know that Howard’s limo driver, Ronny Mund, wear’s a cologne called Mambo by Liz Claiborne.  It’s been a topic of conversation these last few days because Ronny wears a lot of cologne.  So, I looked up this cologne on www.target.com and www.amazon.com and found these comments from Mambo users.  Here are some of the comments, I think they’re hilarious, so if you’re a Howard Stern fan, you’ll find them hilarious as well…  ENJOY!!

Average Guest Rating: 4 stars

1-6 (of 6 Reviews)

November 5, 2008

5 stars

MY JEWGINNIE LOVES IT

Reviewer:  MINNIE "MINI" DRIVER “GO F#CK YOURSELF”  (LET’S F#CK SOME WH*RES)  See all my reviews

MY GRANDFATHER , ER UM SUGAR-GRAN PAPPY LOVES IT. I WORK AT RICKY’S AND ALWAYS KNOW WHEN HE IS NEAR , I CAN SMELL HIM COMING IN FROM THE PARKING LOT. I HAVE TO TELL MY REAL BOYFRIEND TO HIDE WHIL I GIVE THE OLD GEEZER A LAP DANCE THEN I HAVE TO BATHE IN STRAIGHT BLEACH TO GET THE OLD MAN SMELL OFF OF ME . MAMBO , TURNING GIRLS OFF SINCE 1960 , WHICH IS THE SHELF LIFE ON A BOTTLE

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

November 5, 2008

1 stars

Not So Good

Reviewer:  acme  See all my reviews

I got this cologne in hopes of attracting a lady friend of mine, but she fell in love with some painter. I feel so cheated.

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

November 5, 2008

5 stars

This is great Man Musk!

Reviewer:  Elliott Offen “Elliott Offen”  (Ganster Talk, NY)  See all my reviews

This is great man musk. I use it to pick up regular chics as well as strippers. I am about meeting girls, I am about meeting guys, and if you dont like it (you know what to do).

I wear this in my 8, 10, 50, and 100 passenger limo and no matter how many people are in the vechicle, they know I am driving because they smell my Mambo.

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

November 5, 2008

5 stars

Use Liberally

Reviewer:  C. Turner  See all my reviews

My dirty secret is having my man-pal Steve Langford lather me up with Mambo. He does so without using his hands, if you get my drift. Just thinking of him makes my parts tangy.

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

7 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

November 5, 2008

5 stars

I’m about meeting girls, I’m amout meeting guys.

Reviewer:  Opie “Ricky man!”  (Yonkers, NY)  See all my reviews

If you want to smell like a 5 and a half foot tall limo driver then Mambo is for you. Hose this stuff on and you’ll be cursing out co-workers and phone callers in no time.

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

7 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

November 4, 2008

5 stars

Its Great, Whats your problem

Reviewer:  Rickyman “Jewtalian”  (New York City)  See all my reviews

If you are like me, into meeting guys and meeting girls, you will love this cologne. I keep at least 50 bottles in my fridge. The bad thing is my wife had no room for her medication and had to leave me. Thats ok because I reinvented myself as a Rickyman! Who needs her! Whats your problem! Get outta here!

Was this review helpful to you?

• Yes
• No

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful: MAMBO EVEN NORMAL GIRLS WILL LIKE IT, November 1, 2008 By  Nelson “dominicano” (canada) – See all my reviews    SO yeah… as soon as i put this on robin,lisa g and beth were all over me.. this might be the best cologne out there and ppl can smell it 7 feet from me…strippers love it, even normal girls buy it while it lasts.. bababui to u all Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful: STRIPPER’S LOVE IT, November 3, 2008 By  Joseph L. Laura – See all my reviews    IM RICKY’S MAN IM ABOUT MEETING GIRLS IM ABOUT MEETING GUYS AND WHO EVER DOESNT LIKE THAT CAN GO EFF THEMSELVES CAUSE IM RICKY’S MAN AND THAT’S WHAT RICKY’S MAN IS ALL ABOUT BUY MAMBO! MUND OUT! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Good but not for everyone., November 4, 2008 By  T. McGowan (USA) – See all my reviews    I only gave Mambo 3 stars because it’s not for everyone. If you’re all about meetin’ girls and meetin’ guys and havin’ FUN then it’s perfect, if not then it’s not for you. Luckily that’s what I’m all about. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Are you a man or a Mund?, November 1, 2008 By  Domo J. Kingscliff (Half Moon Bay, CA USA) – See all my reviews Are you a man or a Mund? My sons Sonny, Michael & Fredo loves this stuff and uses it all the time. If you keep the bottles in the refrigerator it will last for like 8 years. For the mature male 65 years or older. Also good for pet dander and eczema. It Makes me feel like a real Italian I am a Jewgene. Mambo put me over the top to becoming one. Before Mambo I was struggling to become Italian but after Mambo the Jewgene transformation took place. I keep 10 bottles in my fridge at all times. The downside is that my wife Bonnie left me because of my obsession with Mambo. Well she left because I cheated on her with strippers and whorahs but who cares. She doesnt know what shes missin! Mambo and Jewgenes for life! I Drove my wife away My wife Bonnie hated this Mambo, she said I smelled like a guido. I told her I am trying to be Italian, so I wear Armani sunglasses and Mambo perfume. She was disgusted with me and left me. I threw away my rubbers and spend my time at strip clubs, they LOVE accept me and my Mambo!!! -Ronnie Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comments (2)

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Mature men like Mambo, November 4, 2008 By  Ronald G. Felthoven (seattle, WA USA) – See all my reviews    Mambo is the classic choice for the mature Jewgene. Keep it in the refrigerator for an even more intense Mambo experience. Wear it in your limo for a Mambo clam bake. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: PEACE AND LOVE, November 4, 2008 By  David Clark “Dbax” (Peoria, Az. United States) – See all my reviews    I used this stuff to fix the petcock on my limo. Worked perfectly. Highly recommended! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: My friend Gregg says it helps him score, November 4, 2008 By  S. Dean (BFE) – See all my reviews    My friend Gregg P. said that he scores like crazy with coworkers and regular girls because of Mambo. He’s about meeting guys and girls, and this scent has really helped him. I bought some, but no such luck for me. Maybe it’s because I am hideous looking. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful: What’s your problem?!?!?, November 4, 2008 By  Edison Detroit – See all my reviews My friend Ronnie recommended this to me. He said between this and skull t-shirts the women won’t leave him alone. I’m thinking about getting a lizard tatooed on my arm. I just wish I could get ridda dese wifes!!! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Great cologne for mature men, October 31, 2008 By  A. Siegel “MENSA Drop-out” (San Diego, CA USA) – See all my reviews    This cologne will improve your scores, man. It’s definitely for a mature man, and even regular girls will like it. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. , August 18, 2008 By  Haris A. Naqvi – See all my reviews    i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

 

Too Funny…

 

Weekend Debauchery…

I’m back, BITCHES!!  Yes, that’s right I’m back and more FAB than ever!!  This weekend has been quite a whirlwind.  It started off Friday, I was supposed to have a date on Friday night, but I got an email Friday afternoon cancelling.  So, I decided to go to my cousin’s bar and hang with the family (i.e. my brother and cousin).  I was going to go and have a drink, maybe a bite to eat then go home.  Well, no such luck, one of my brother’s friends was there and we had a VERY interesting evening.  There was alcohol flying all around that bar.  It was a lot of fun, the most fun I’ve had in a very long time!!

After a long morning of recovering from the previous nights events, Saturday night, I went to the New Kids on the Block concert.  Not exactly what I have in mind for a Saturday night, but I decided that maybe I needed a change in scenery.  I don’t usually hang out with the girls I went with and I thought it would be a good bonding experience.  Also, the opening act was Natasha Bedingfield and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her!!

I knew there would be a huge amount of cheesiness, let me just say that I was NOT disappointed. 

The Girls loving NKOTB

There was pyrotechnics, synchronized choreography, costume changes just to name a few.  Imagine being in an arena with 20,000 screaming 30 year old women.  Holy Moly!!  Actually, not a pretty sight.  During the concert I was taking notes of all the cheesy things that were going on…

• Flowers on the video screens when they were singing a slow song
• Women in the audience dressing as if it were 1986
• Our Cheesy “I (Heart) NKOTB” t-shirts
• The memorial during the middle of the concert of all their favorite actors that passed, including family members
• Each of the band members got to sing a song all by themselves on stage
• Piano in the middle of floor of the audience
• The costume change into all white outfits, the stage is draped in white drapes, fog covering the stage
• Then they changed again into Celtics jerseys
• Four girl dances in coordinating outfits
• They performed the same dances to the old songs they performed to in the 1980′s
  

  Only at the NKOTB concert!! Is it 1986?

• Oh and the cheesiest moment of the night goes to Jordan.  He was singing a song by himself on stage and he was wearing a white button down shirt and as he was singing the song there was a fan blowing on him from the bottom up.  Then!  All of a sudden!  His shirt flies open and the on-stage camera zooms in on his abs, so his abs are on the large video screens in the arena. 

All in all, I had a great time hanging out with the girls.  It’s a concert that I never thought, in a million years, I would have attended.  It’s something I can say that I have done and check it off of my list of things to do before I die.

 

Oh, P.S., my friend Christy is going to the NKOTB concert at the end of the month.  Christy, I have an “I (heart) NKOTB” t-shirt for you!!  Only worn once!

 

Dear Santa…Please put us on the TBOX Royal Court!!

Dear Santa,

 

I am writing to you on behalf of myself (Marina C.) and Jodi Z.  We believe we have been very good girls this year, or very naughty, it depends on how you look at it.  This year, for Christmas, we would like to be on Chris Festa’s (www.shopfesta.com he has wonderful t-shirts) production of the Twelve Bars of Christmas (from here on in referred to as TBOX) Royal Court.  Jodi and I have been attending TBOX for many, many years now, this year will be our 7th consecutive TBOX.  Last year, Chris Festa was so kind to put me on the Royal Court, so this year I would love it, if Chris could add myself and Jodi to the roster!  We are loyal followers of the TBOX brand and your kindness this year will not be forgotten. 

 

Over the years, Santa, Jodi and I have developed several traditions that we practice religiously while at TBOX.  They are as follows…

1) Whether they are naughty or nice, we insist on “handing” out spankings.  Just good fun for all!!

Janice HANDING it out!

2) We always try to bring at least 1 TBOX Virgin.  We know that spreading the “good word” would lead to spreading peace, joy and love throughout the world.  Last year we had 2 virgins in our group, this year we expect to have 5.

Jodi with our 2 Virgins

3) We also perfected the no-handed cereal carrying process. 

If a virgin can do it...

4) We always try to find people that wear the same costumes year after year and get pictures with them each year.  We hit the trifecta last year!

2005

2006

2007

 

2007

I have attached several pics of Jodi and I over the years. 

TBOX 2007

2006

2005

This goes way back

So, Santa, here is our plea.  Please talk to Chris Festa of www.shopfesta.com and convince him to make our dream come true. 

Thank You very much, we love you!!

Sincerely,

Marina C. and Jodi Z.

 

Back to reality…

So, I’m officially back from Greece and I had a wonderful time!!  My trip to Greece came at the perfect time for me.  If you read this blog regularly, then you know why, if you don’t read this blog, then scroll down 2 posts and then you’ll know why.  My object for the trip was to clear my head, remove myself from the drama that was happening here, and to spend lots of quality time with my family while working on my tan.  I wanted my biggest worry to be making my tan even.  I left all my worries and anxities here in the states. 

I believe that I accomplished that goal.  I feel refreshed and optomistic about the future.  I’m well rested, and I am thinking of going back to Greece for the holidays, just for a week, that is, if my parents don’t come out here for the holidays.  All I have to do is afford the ticket!!! 

Now that I’m back, work has been going decently.  I’m not a big fan of my job.  But I am here because I need to pay the bills.  As are most people who work.  There are some changes going on in my department, some good and some bad, but we’ll see what happens in the end.

Although, I had a great trip, and work is going ok, I have had some awful days in the few days I’ve been home.  Upon my return, I noticed that my cat (he’s 19.5 years old) wasn’t feeling well.  At first, I thought he was stressed that I had been gone for a few weeks.  He’s always a bit ragged looking when I return from a trip.  At first, that’s what I thought, but in the first 24 hours of my return, I saw him go from bad to worse.  It was in his “worse” stage that I knew what was happwning to him, he was in Kidney failure.  I had seen the same symptoms before in another cat I had, who died 3 years ago.  Now, I knew it was happening to, Cat (yes, that’s his name, nothing else ever stuck).  So, I did the hardest thing I ever had to do, I made an appointment at the vet to have him…  I know it was the best thing to do for him, but I have had Cat since I was 13, and it was very difficult appointment to keep.  He was a wonderful cat, I miss him terribly!! 

In my grieving, I feel like I have been sad for months.  In fact, I HAVE been sad for months.  I was sad in the last month or so of my relationship, I was sad when I ended my relationship and now I’m sad about my cat.  So, as of today, the sadness will end!!!  It’s a new month, and this month will be better than the last 4 months!!! 

Stay tuned…

 

End of the Summer…

It’s that time of year again…  This weekend is Labor Day Weekend, a weekend that traditionally signifies the end of summer.   

On Monday, I will be taking my yearly trip to Greece.  I will be gone 3 weeks!!  YIPPEEE!!!  Summer doesn’t end in Greece until October.  So, I will be basking on the beach for the next few weeks without a care in the world!!!  The pic you see above, I will be looking at that until September 23!!!  AAAHHHHH….

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!!

SMOOCHES!!

 

Loving the Olympic Bods…

I am loving the summer olympics!!  I especially love the swimmer’s body…OMG!!!  Here are some of my favorite of Michael Phelps. 

 

Update: United Airlines Response #2

Below is another letter that my friend Cheryl received from another Customer Care Manager.  Glenn Tilton is the CEO of United Airlines.  This is exactly the kind of response Cheryl was looking for, not the LAME ASS CRAP she got in the first email. 

 

Glenn Tilton gave me your letter of July 21, and asked that I respond on his behalf with sincere apologies for the problems you reported while traveling with your daughter on Flight 943 from Paris to Chicago on May 24 and returning on Flight 942 from Chicago to Paris on July 18, 2008. 

 

On its way to me for a thorough investigation, your e-mail letter passed through many hands at our company, with deepening concern that we had caused a disservice to you as a valued guest, whose top priority is maternal care and protection for the safety of your baby.

 

As a former flight attendant and in-flight safety manager, I was very disturbed to read of the behavior you described on the part of the flight attendants.  So I have requested reports from the crew members involved.  Knowing that there are many different brands of child safety seats on the market, it is in everyone’s best interests for crewmembers to collaborate with parents in order to install the child’s car seat so it that it meets both the FAA requirements, as well as the manufacturer’s instructions.  Peace of mind for the parent is essential, and I am deeply saddened by the perception that was created that other guests’ comfort took precedence over your daughter’s safety. 

 

I admire you as a champion for your child’s well-being and would like to discuss the subject further if it is convenient for you.  I serve on the board of the Soong Ching Ling Foundation of the China Welfare Institute and am always striving to advance public awareness of children’s safety issues.   Aside from the technical issues of reserving bulkhead seats and bassinets on United airplanes – which we can discuss in detail if you are interested — I believe that you could teach us a lot from your perspective as a parent and consumer.  Please let me know a time and date when we can set an appointment for a phone conversation, and I will be happy to place the call to you in your time zone in France.   If you’d prefer to communicate via e-mail, that is fine, too.  The important goal is regaining your trust and confidence in United Airlines.

 

            Cordially,

            Sara XXXXX

Customer Relations

 

SLD/ca

Ref #: 7732173C