The whole truth…

When I decided to write this blog (which was, yesterday) I struggled with the point of view in which I would write my story. This story is very, very personal to me. Something in which I have avoided doing on this blog in the past. I decided it was a story that I needed to tell. A story, although, personal, I feel people need to read. It may be a bit vengeful, but the truth needs to be told, I think. It started out as a love story, but then that love turned and bit me in the ass. It’s a story about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and why he is my ex-boyfriend. I have referenced him before in this blog (Maytag Man/Tidy Bowl Man). In the end, it’s a story of my heartbreak.

I always come up with the title first, then I write. I have several titles in my head.

Why my ex is a Loser!
Why he said “I Love You” but decided to cheat and break my heart anyway
What goes around…

I could go on and on.

I never thought my break up with Maytag man/tidy bowl man would end up this way. Hell, I never thought we would break up!! I thought he was in it for the long-haul. If there is one thing that I want to step away from this relationship is with class and dignity, however, that’s not how the relationship ended.

I think I need to start with how it began for you, the reader, to understand…

Paul (that’s his name) and I started dating August 2007. Things started off well enough, a few dates here and there, then meeting of the friends. It was quite a whirlwind romance. We lived about 2 hours from each other so our weekends were our time. We had some really great times!! He even gave me a key to his house 2 months after we started dating. We had some talks about what might happen in the future, I explained to him, at one point, that my plans for life were marriage and a family, and if he didn’t want those things he needed to tell me. He told me that he was looking forward to starting a family one day. We even talked about what would happen if I got pregnant, how he would feel. He said that it wouldn’t be the exact way he planned on having a family, but he would be really excited about being a dad.

Fast forward to December. Were at a restaurant for dinner Xmas eve and he tells me that he loves me. Great!! I love him too. I thought I saw good things for us. Then we planned a trip to Las Vegas in February for my birthday. Four uninterrupted days together. Bliss!! We had a great time. No problems, very eb and flow. It was his first time in Vegas and I was happy that I could share that experience with him. From how our relationship was progressing and what Paul was telling me, I thought we were on the road to a future.

After we get home from Vegas, he asked me if I would go home with him for Easter and meet his family. I was like, sure, I would live to meet your family. We even talked about him coming to Greece to meet my family. He once told me that he would never take a girl home to meet his parents unless he was serious about her. So I went home with him for an overnight visit with his parents. A bit uncomfortable for me, but I endured for him. Around this time, Paul was getting phone calls from a recruiter to go and work for a company out of state. This job would move him further away from where I live. I wasn’t exactly happy about this, since he always stated to me that he would love to move to Chicago and work in the city. I asked him if he got the job what would happen to our relationship. He said, “let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.” Okay! Fine with me!!

Things in our relationship had come very easy for us. We got along well. Things never got too heavy. Which was fine. I don’t like to stress the small things. I guess we had the best of both worlds, we could be bf/gf on the weekends and during the week we had plenty of space to do as we choose, but the exclusivity of our relationship was always understood. Soon, Paul got the job offer from the out-of-state company which meant he would be moving, which was fine, but that move would mean that we would be living 3 hours from each other. Immediately, I was worried about how we would maintain our relationship, let alone try and build on it some more. Would our relationship stand an even greater distance? How could we grow closer if we were living further from each other? Furthermore, he always expressed to me that he wanted to try and get a job in Chicago, but he failed to even look for jobs in the city. But the company that hired him is a great company for the type of work he does. So I started thinking about how we could get over this road block.

Now, things become funny…

While I was helping him get his house I’m order so he can sell it and move out of state, I later discovered that he began searching the Internet for women. While I spent hours helping him paint cabinets, sweep and mop filthy wood floors, clean cob webs out of corners, wash nasty sheets and drapes, he was whoring himself out on the Internet. I only ever wanted us to be a team and learn to solve problems together, but I guess that was asking too much.

In mid-June, Paul started his new job. He moved and he grew more distant. He started calling me less, he used to call me every night, now he started calling me every other night. This is the time where his emails to other women were plentiful. At this time, he was emailing 6 or 7 different women. At the end of June he planned and went on a date with a girl he met on Match.com. Here is a string of emails that he had with a girl confirming plans for their date…

Re:Match.com Message:

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 11:15 PM

From: “Paul XXXXXXX” <XXXXXX@yahoo.com>

To:Rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi XXXXXX,

Yes, we’re on. Have you ever been to Mikey’s? It’s
down the street from Elsa’s. My brother recommended
it, so we can put the blame on him. I’m shooting for
7:30pm. Tell me if this is good for you.

Today was hectic. The owner of the house I put an
offer on turned all flakey, so now I’m looking again.
That’s fine; I wasn’t 100% with this one anyway. Who
would have thought it could be so hard in a buyer’s
market?

How was your day?

paul

_____________________________________________________________

Rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com wrote:Hi Paul:

Yep, we’re still on for tomorrow night. Looking
forward to meeting you. By the way, phones scare me
(at least initially), but here is my number …
(4XX) XXX-XXXX.

Meet you soon.

XXXXXXXXX

_____________________________________________________________________

Re:Match.com Message:

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 11:55 PM

From:

“Paul XXXXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>

To: rubxxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi XXXXXX,

how are you? How was your 4th? I had a very relaxing time in (enter state of residence here). Are you free this weekend? Look forward to hearing from you soon. Paul.

_____________________________________________________________________

From: <rubxxxxxxx@talkmatch.com>
To: <xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008 07:12 AM
Subject: Match.com Message: Hello

Hi Paul:

Good to hear from you. So glad to hear you had a great weekend (well deserved, I’m sure!). My holiday was great – I slept most of the day (very unlike me) and then traveled down to the Summerfest grounds to watch a good friend’s husband rock the Potawotami stage. The rest of the weekend was pretty tame.

With the exception of a work event Saturday night (I have to watch a “Best in Show” beagle throw out the first pitch at the Brewers game – don’t ask), I am wide open this weekend. Any thoughts?

Have a great day – it’s supposed to be beautiful!

XXXXXXXXX

____________________________________________________________________

Saturday, July 12, 2008 12:37 AM

From: “Paul XXXXXX” <Xxxxxx@yahoo.com>

To:rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi xxxxxxxx!

I’m up. I’ve been sick in bed all day. It was probably something i ate. I’ve got some family stuff on sunday that im going to be in milwaukee for. What time is the ballgame saturday for you?

Talk soon- paul

P.S That “family stuff” he had to do on Sunday was come and see me!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, he even put up a profile on match.com. They had been emailing back and forth for about a month. They went on a date the Wednesday before 4th of July weekend. A weekend we planned on spending together. When I got up to his house, he was very distant and the vibe wasn’t very good. I asked him what was going on? Why was he acting like this? He told me that I was putting too much pressure on him. What kind of pressure? He told me that he didn’t feel like dealing with me. I decided that spending the weekend with him wasn’t a very good idea. He told me that he didn’t think that spending the weekend together was a good idea either, as a matter of fact, he thought about it during the week but didn’t want to tell me to save me a 2 hour drive. So, I picked up all my stuff I had around his house and went home 2 hours after I arrived. I didn’t understand, all I wanted to do was spend time with him. I didn’t want him to do anything other than spend time with me and let me know what was going on in his head.

That weekend he was all over the internet looking for a “hook up”. He was responding to craigslist ads all weekend looking for a one night stand!! Here is one of the emails he sent out to someone looking for a one night stand…

Re: hi

Saturday, July 5, 2008 7:29 PM

From:

“Paul XXXXXX” XXXX@yahoo.com

To: pers-742366132@craigslist.org

Hey,

Just another quick note, to let you know about me. I’m

single, unattached. I’m at my house. I’m

relocating to xxxxxxxx, but I’m in town to check on

my place.

I really like being with women. I’m 38, and I like

fulfilling the role of the younger man. There’s

nothing I won’t do to satisfy you completely. We can

have a really good time, and no one will know. And if

I’m in town again, which i will be, you can look me up

again.

paul

That weekend I thought we were having a fight. If he wanted it to be over, it could have been over that weekend. But he called me 2 days later looking to make-up and move on with our relationship. He told me that he wanted to talk and work through our issues. But he continued to talk to girls on the internet. Here is one string of emails between Paul and some girl named Jackie that he met on Facebook…

Re:RE: Stormy outside
Sunday, July 20, 2008 1:52 AM
From:”Paul XXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>
To:jackie_xxxxxx@hotmail.com

Hey jackie, you up?

———-
Sent from AT&T’s Wireless network using Mobile Email

——Original Message——
From: JACKIE <jackie_xxxxx@hotmail.com>
To: “Paul XXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008 01:27 PM
Subject: RE: Stormy outside

It’s not stormy outside today, but I wish it were it is so hot. Kinda like you! I was just thinking of you and thought I would drop you a note. Just when we got back into touch…we lose touch again… speaking of touching…I would love to be close to you right now…. touch you…feel your breath on my ear…your skin on mine…. just talk….

08 06:05:30 +0000> Subject: Stormy outside>
From: xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: jackie_xxxxxxx@hotmail.com> >

Hi jackie. Its stormy outside again. Its dark and rainy. I know a place where we can watch the storm come in alone. I want to kiss the rain water that is streaming down your naked body and watch the lightning sparkle in your dark eyes…>

Sent from AT&T’s Wireless network using Mobile Email

RE: Stormy outside
Friday, July 18, 2008 3:28 PM
From:”Paul XXXXXX” <xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To:”JACKIE” <jackie_xxxxxx@hotmail.com>

I’m doing alright. It’s been a bit boring here after
work because I don’t live around here, but soon i’ll
start making connections and having fun. How about
you? Do you have a man in your life who treats you
like you deserve, or have you found someone who you
can pretend is me? I wouldn’t be offended if you did.
Actually, it’s a bit exciting…If you ever feel
lonely and bored, you can write me at night. It would
be fun to talk to you after I go to bed

I wonder what he would say or do over the phone, while he’s talking to her in bed? Would he spank it?????? You decide!!!

These emails were sent while Paul and I were supposed to be “working things out.” What a crock!!! So, here is the story of what went wrong with our relationship. The day I found all these emails I was devastated. I even found an email that he sent to himself from his cell phone with a picture of his penis. I’m sure he wanted to send it to the whores he has erotic chats with.

Paul told me a story once about his ex-wife. He told me the end of their marriage was pretty bad. He suspected that she had met someone online and that one day she told him that she needed to take a vacation by herself. He suspected that she went to meet this man she met online. Soon after, she left him. Paul took several pages out of her book and played them on me. He knew how it felt to have someone cheat, he knew the pain, yet, he decided that I somehow deserved to know this same pain. Our whole relationship was a sham. I was someone to pass his time because he said that he never wanted to date anyone in his town, because his buddies had slept with all the women, married and unmarried.

All I ever did was try to be loving and supportive to the man I loved and in the end I got shit on!!! I am truly hurt and bewildered by these events. In the end, though, I know that I my love was not meant for Paul. He was merely a stepping stone to someone wayyyy better.

Return to Self…

For the past several months, I have been spending a lot of time with the BF.  He got a new job and he had to move, so I’ve been spending a lot of weekends at his house helping him finish his remodeling project.  Needless to say, I’ve been spending so much time with him that I’ve neglected my own friends and my life. 

Now it’s time I return to myself.  It started last weekend, Friday night I attended a friend’s 30th birthday party, solo.  Then Saturday night, I had a girls night out with a couple of my girlfriends from high school.  Oh no, firends, it doesn’t stop there…  This weekend on Saturday, I am going to have another girls day, with another group of friends.  The plan is to spend the day at a frou frou fitness club.  The kind that people spend the day at.  They have an on-site spa, restaurant and pool on the roof.  Then after that, we’re going out for drinks and then dinner.  A very excellent girls day out. 

I’ve also decided to go ahead and book my yearly trip to Greece, without the BF.  He’s been very wishy-washy about booking a ticket and commiting to a date range.  So, I told him the other night that I was going to book my ticket and if he wanted to meet me out there he was more than welcome, however, I wasn’t going to wait for him anymore.  So, THERE!!!

I see that my life is moving on, with ot without me.  I prefer it move on with me!  I’ve decided that I’m going to back off from seeing soo much of the BF.  This summer is my summer.  I don’t want to end my relationship with him, because I love him to death.  I believe that pulling back just a bit and re-entering my life, I’ll be more self-assured and therefore, become more attractive to my BF and myself!! 

Who might be on the next Bachelor…

NOT ME!!!  My BF, Tidy Bowl Man (previously known as Maytag Man), would not be too happy about that!!

A girlfriend of mine has some pretty exciting stuff going on, since I am at a lull right now, I have to  depend on others for excitement.  On a whim and with some encouragement from several friends she decided to “try out” to be a bachelorette on The Bachelor #13.  We’re (her friends) are all very excited about this!! 

Over the weekend she decided to fill out the small questionnaire online and email in a picture of herself.  Yesterday, she got an email from the casting department asking that she send in some “vacation pictures” (aka bikini pics) and a interview video.  Here is the email that she received…

Hello,

Thank you for your interest in The Bachelor. Your information has been
reviewed and we would like you to submit a tape of yourself for further
consideration.

 Please find attached two forms:
1)            Bachelorette app. (PDF)

2)            The Bachelor Tape Instructions

Print out the application and hand-write your information.  Sign and mail
with your tape (do not send a copy of the app., we need the original signed
document).
Tape submission instructions are also attached. In addition, here are few
suggestions to ensure your tape is considered:

·      Choose a well-lit area – avoid standing near
mirrors or windows

·      Be sure to get a full-length body shot

·      Check the tape before you submit

Include some recent pictures of yourself including full-length (recent
vacation photos, etc.)

Please send the application, pictures, and tape together by June 23rd.

Just a heads up about the casting and travel dates.  If you are chosen as one
of the finalists, you would need to be available August 21st-23rd for Casting Finalists Weekend; we will pay for your travel and hotel expenses for the duration of your casting stay. At that time, you will meet with our casting team and producers.

Please note that filming is scheduled to begin October 13th for up to six
consecutive weeks. However, if you are not chosen as one of the final four
bachelorettes, taping may last up to 10 days only. 

We look forward to receiving your materials.

–
Best,
Emilee —–
Casting Producer

Now, we are trying to get it together and make her video and send in the info by the deadline date.  If you want to see the questionnaire and video questions they’re after the jump.

Flashback…90210

Ahh…the high school days…  The days of matte red lipstick, pale matte skin, (thank God for lip gloss and powdered bronzers with shimmer) ”grunge” attire, plaid flannel shirts with pale washed Levis 501 jeans.  Let us not forget the revival of the “Peace” era.  Peace Sign necklaces, smiley face shirts and jewelery, thick ribbon velvet chokers, suit vests with said Levi jeans.  I could go on and on…

I’ve discovered something interesting.  Something, that takes me back to my high school days, something, that, now, fills up my boring, work-laden afternoons.  I’ve discovered a website where you can watch any episode from the first 3 seasons of Beverly Hills, 90210.  YIPPEE!!!  So, for about 45 minutes a day I have been escaping to 90210-land. 

Life with Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Steve, Dylan, Donna and Andrea (pronounced Au-nd-ree-a) has never been so familiar.  This show started the first year I was in high school.  I was addicted, as was every other 13-14 year old girl.  (I actually had a dream about Dylan last night, but that’s another blog!!  Those are details for my 32 year old self.)  I will try and update the blog everyday with my learned 90210 lessons. 

Toady’s episode was from season 3 titled “Perfectly Perfect.”  The episode starts with Kelly on a stair-master, workin’ up a sweat.  Her 18th birthday is looming and her perfect life is out of whack.  At this point in the season, she is dating Dylan, and things between her and Brenda are not so perfect.  Not to mention, her mother has their home up for sale, is in the middle of another divorce, has a new little sister and a freaky step-brother aka David Silver (ex-stalker).  So, I imagine that the stresses of changing life, things becoming out of her control have freaked her out.  So, controlling her weight is the only way that she can maintain some control.  Cut to the school yard, Kelly is sitting with Dylan, Kelly nonchalantly takes out a pack of diet pills and pops one.  Ah, ha!!  This is why she’s been acting so crazy, snapping at her family, just being an all around bee-othch!! 

The sub-plot has to do with Brandon and Steve going on a dating show called Love at First Sight.  It’s here that we meet Celeste.  If my memory serves me correctly, she recurrs in several episodes after this.  Of course, both Steve and Brandon have their sights set on the beautiful brunette, however, it’s Steve that Celeste chooses. 

After several more scenes of “Bitchy Pill-Popping Kelly” we fast forward to The Peach Pit, sight of Kelly’s surprise 18th birthday party.  Brenda is there, which was in question, because of the whole Dylan thing.  The whole gang is having a great time.  Kelly, however, is feeling flushed and excuses herself to the restroom.  There we see her freaking out, the screen goes blurry, she is drinking and splashing water on her face.  Next, Brenda goes into the bathroom to find Kelly for birthday cake.  Brenda walks in and finds Kelly passed out on the floor.  Cut to the hospital.  Here we find a doctor explaining to Kelly and her mother that just because you can buy diet pills over the counter, doesn’t mean that they’re safe.  He also instructs Kelly to look into an eating disorder help group.  yada yada…

What have we learned from this episode kiddies?  Over the counter diet pills are bad, illegal pills are good!!  LOL!  No, just kidding.  Over the counter medicines are safe when you take them as directed.  They are not safe when you take them at double or triple the directed amounts.  Just ask Heath Leger, he knows all about it!! 

Till next time… same 90210 channel, same 90210 time!!

Happy News!!

I haven’t told anyone this, so my friends who read this blog will be totally surprised!!  Last night, I got a surprise visit from my significant other, Paul.  We live over an hour from each other so we rarely ever see each other during the week.  So, last night he popped over with a surprise for me…

He proposed!!!  I said yes!!  I am now engaged!!  YIPPEEE!!!! 

TO FIND OUT THE DETAILS…CLICK HERE!!

Weekend Drama Wrap-Up

This weekend was very busy in the the drama category.  There were 2 different episodes  of drama.  First being, the ever present rift between 2 of my girlfriends which came to a head Friday night, technically Saturday morning.  Of course, it was over a man!!  The second being, the long break-up sequence between my brother and his girlfriend.

Let’s examine episode #1. 

Here’s the looong story.  A little over 2 years ago, Thelma dated Ken for 3 months.  Ken dumped Thelma, because he thought she partied too much and spent too much time with her friends.  This totally broke Thelma’s heart.  Because they live in the same neighborhood, after several months they became friends.  Last February, Ken was hanging out with Thelma helping her with some home improvements, and he confessed to her that he was in love with her and wanted him back.  Thelma, quickly rebuffed his advances saying that she had moved on and it was too late!!! 

The very next night, Thelma had a party at her house, where Ken met a girl named Louise.  Louise and Ken went home together that night, and subsequently spent the last year together.  Here we are at the present time, last Wednesday, Ken admitted to Louise that he didn’t love her the way she wanted him to love her, and Louise ended the relationship. 

The issues at hand.  Thelma and Louise never became close because of this situation.  There’s always been a bit of tension between the two.  When Louise and Ken first got together, he asked her to keep the situation quiet because he was still working out his feelings for Thelma and he wanted to tell her himself.  After a month, she finally told Thelma because Louise needed her to know.  Thelma gave Louise her blessing to go ahead and date Ken.  Although, Thelma gave Louise her blessing, Louise has always felt that Thelma still had feeling for Ken that she never admitted to.  End of the situation!! 

Fast forward to Friday night.  Friday was set up as a girls night.  It was myself, Peaches, Louise and Thelma.  We were all drinking having a good time.  We first went to a bar called Krem, and it was less than fun.  I write about it in another blog.  After a bit, we went to a neighborhood bar called Loom.  When we got there, it was game on, the girls proceded to get trashed!!  I was driving home, so I took it easy.  I left the bar first.  Then Peaches left.  So, it was just Thelma and Louise.  So, Louise started bringing up the whole Ken thing and trying to explain it away.  She was trying to smooth things over with Thelma because they have several friends in common and they always see each other out.  Thelma, apparently, had no wish to discuss the past with Louise.  Of course they’re both drunk by this time.  And as I heard the proceeding details it got bad!!  Louise is talking to Thelma, Thelma interrupts Louise and says, “You’re such a liar, I went on vacation to Mexico, and while on vacation I decided I was going to take Ken back, then I come home to find out that you’re fucking the man I love!”  She pushes Louise and walks out of the bar, gets in a cab and goes home!! 

At 3:30 in the morning, I get a phone call from a drunk, hysterical crying Louise.  She was saying that all her doubts and fears were realized.  The whole time Louise was dating Ken she had fears and jealousy that Thelma secretly had feelings for Ken.  And Friday night, her fears were realized.  Now, she fears that Thelma and Ken will reunite and those feelings scare her to death.

Uggg…the drama!!!

Episode #2…

Coming Soon…I haven’t the energy to post any more about the weekend drama!!

Mission: Wait-A-While

So, here’s the 411. I started dating this guy last month, let’s call him Maytag Man or MM for short.

Our first date was great, great conversation, smart fella, easy to talk to and cute to boot!! We went for Sushi and drinks.

Our second date was 2 weeks later and went just as well if not better than outr first date. We went and saw Gipsy Kings at Ravinia, we danced and hung out with my friends Zhaleh & Yuriy. The weather wasn’t very cooperative, but it made the night all that more interesting. You can tell a lot about people in semi-adverse situations. I saw no indications that he was displeased about the semi-rain out. Our second date was just over a month ago. Two days later I left for Greece for 4 weeks, as you may have previously read on my blog.

Now, I’ve been back for a couple of days now, and Maytag Man and I spent the whole weekend together. He came over on Friday night, we went dinner, then came back to my house to watch a movie. We hadn’t planned much because I am still quite jet lagged. On Saturday, we decided to spend the day together. The morning started off with coffee at my local Starbucks, then we headed to Chicago to hang out at Lincoln Park Zoo. Yesterday was the perfect Zoo day. Spent time looking and talking about the animals and really getting to know each other. We walked through the zoo and came upon the lagoon where you can rent paddle boats. We rented a paddle boat and paddled around the lagoon for a while. It was really a terrific day!!

After the zoo, I took him to my turf. We went to Greek Town for a late lunch/early dinner. Maytag Man had never had Greek food before, so I decided I needed to take care of that. You can’t date this Greek girl and not have ever eaten Greek food.

All in all, I had a great weekend with Maytag Man. I look forward to spending more time with him and getting to know him better.

The Big "O"

A friend of mine told me this story, I couldn’t help but re-tell it here…

My friend Charlene* has been seeing a new guy, his name is Ryan*. They have been dating for about a month or so. If you don’t know this by now, girls tell each other everything. So, for the past few weeks I have been hearing about Ryan and their dates, I also met Ryan 2 weeks ago at a BBQ he had at his place. I KNOW my friend Charlene and I know that she’s not really “into” this guy. He’s very nice, gentle kind of person and would like nothing better than to make Charlene happy. But there is no passion in their relationship, the way she explains it, everything is just “OK”.

So, Charlene was telling me that she was talking to her dad about her relationship with Ryan. Charlene’s dad is a RIOT!! I love him!! So, she was telling her dad and brother about her ho-hum relationship. So, her dad reluctantly ask’s about “the sex.” He asked her how the sexing was and she reluctantly answers that it was o.k. Then he asks her if she had an “Organism” with Ryan (you can laugh here). And she replies, no. Then he asks her, how he was “south of the border.” She stopped answering at this point.

As Father’s Day is upon us, I couldn’t help sharing this story with all 3 of my readers!! Thanks!!

*Names have been changed to protect the anonimity of my friends and their boyfriends.