Weekend Debauchery…

I’m back, BITCHES!!  Yes, that’s right I’m back and more FAB than ever!!  This weekend has been quite a whirlwind.  It started off Friday, I was supposed to have a date on Friday night, but I got an email Friday afternoon cancelling.  So, I decided to go to my cousin’s bar and hang with the family (i.e. my brother and cousin).  I was going to go and have a drink, maybe a bite to eat then go home.  Well, no such luck, one of my brother’s friends was there and we had a VERY interesting evening.  There was alcohol flying all around that bar.  It was a lot of fun, the most fun I’ve had in a very long time!!

After a long morning of recovering from the previous nights events, Saturday night, I went to the New Kids on the Block concert.  Not exactly what I have in mind for a Saturday night, but I decided that maybe I needed a change in scenery.  I don’t usually hang out with the girls I went with and I thought it would be a good bonding experience.  Also, the opening act was Natasha Bedingfield and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her!!

I knew there would be a huge amount of cheesiness, let me just say that I was NOT disappointed. 

The Girls loving NKOTB

There was pyrotechnics, synchronized choreography, costume changes just to name a few.  Imagine being in an arena with 20,000 screaming 30 year old women.  Holy Moly!!  Actually, not a pretty sight.  During the concert I was taking notes of all the cheesy things that were going on…

• Flowers on the video screens when they were singing a slow song
• Women in the audience dressing as if it were 1986
• Our Cheesy “I (Heart) NKOTB” t-shirts
• The memorial during the middle of the concert of all their favorite actors that passed, including family members
• Each of the band members got to sing a song all by themselves on stage
• Piano in the middle of floor of the audience
• The costume change into all white outfits, the stage is draped in white drapes, fog covering the stage
• Then they changed again into Celtics jerseys
• Four girl dances in coordinating outfits
• They performed the same dances to the old songs they performed to in the 1980’s
  

  Only at the NKOTB concert!! Is it 1986?

• Oh and the cheesiest moment of the night goes to Jordan.  He was singing a song by himself on stage and he was wearing a white button down shirt and as he was singing the song there was a fan blowing on him from the bottom up.  Then!  All of a sudden!  His shirt flies open and the on-stage camera zooms in on his abs, so his abs are on the large video screens in the arena. 

All in all, I had a great time hanging out with the girls.  It’s a concert that I never thought, in a million years, I would have attended.  It’s something I can say that I have done and check it off of my list of things to do before I die.

 

Oh, P.S., my friend Christy is going to the NKOTB concert at the end of the month.  Christy, I have an “I (heart) NKOTB” t-shirt for you!!  Only worn once!

Loving the Olympic Bods…

I am loving the summer olympics!!  I especially love the swimmer’s body…OMG!!!  Here are some of my favorite of Michael Phelps. 

Weekend Drama Wrap-Up: Part 2

Arrgghh…the Drama continues…

Thelma and Louise strike again!!  If you’ve read my previous post about weekend drama (click here to read it) you know the back story. 

It’s come to the point where the mutual friends have to start choosing.  For the most part, when we want to do something we invite both Thelma and Louise.  Usually, if Louise knows that Thelma is attending she will not attend.  Thelma has no issue with Louise, she could care less is Louise hangs out with us.  Truthfully, the one person that is suffering from this situation is Louise.  She is missing out from all the fun because she just can’t get over the situation.  Boo Freaking Hooo!!  GET OVER IT!!!  So, now Louise is not speaking to me because she thinks I chose Thelma over her.  I really didn’t but that point is moot. 

When I found out that Louise was mad at me, I reached out and called her.  She didn’t answer the phone, so I left a voice-mail and told her that we needed to clear the air and to call me back.  Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I make 1 phone call.  I did my duty and sought out my hurt friend.  I will not call her again, I will not email her and beg her to call me back.  I do not play these childish games.  I have a TON of friends and a lot of them are waiting to make first string, so if there is an opening on the varsity team, then someone from the Jr. varsity team will get moved up!!  So, there!! 

I can’t stand all this fucking drama between the girls.   Thelma has offered to call Louise and apologize in order to clear the air.  But I told her that if her apology isn’t sincere, and if she truly doesn’t think she needs to aapologize then she shouldn’t call and aapologize.  That could possibly make the situation worse. 

Here I am today, 1 friend down, and possibly a little bit happier because I don’t have to deal with all the stupid, fucking bullshit!!  I prefer living in a cloud of ignorance. 

Return to Self…

For the past several months, I have been spending a lot of time with the BF.  He got a new job and he had to move, so I’ve been spending a lot of weekends at his house helping him finish his remodeling project.  Needless to say, I’ve been spending so much time with him that I’ve neglected my own friends and my life. 

Now it’s time I return to myself.  It started last weekend, Friday night I attended a friend’s 30th birthday party, solo.  Then Saturday night, I had a girls night out with a couple of my girlfriends from high school.  Oh no, firends, it doesn’t stop there…  This weekend on Saturday, I am going to have another girls day, with another group of friends.  The plan is to spend the day at a frou frou fitness club.  The kind that people spend the day at.  They have an on-site spa, restaurant and pool on the roof.  Then after that, we’re going out for drinks and then dinner.  A very excellent girls day out. 

I’ve also decided to go ahead and book my yearly trip to Greece, without the BF.  He’s been very wishy-washy about booking a ticket and commiting to a date range.  So, I told him the other night that I was going to book my ticket and if he wanted to meet me out there he was more than welcome, however, I wasn’t going to wait for him anymore.  So, THERE!!!

I see that my life is moving on, with ot without me.  I prefer it move on with me!  I’ve decided that I’m going to back off from seeing soo much of the BF.  This summer is my summer.  I don’t want to end my relationship with him, because I love him to death.  I believe that pulling back just a bit and re-entering my life, I’ll be more self-assured and therefore, become more attractive to my BF and myself!! 

Who might be on the next Bachelor…

NOT ME!!!  My BF, Tidy Bowl Man (previously known as Maytag Man), would not be too happy about that!!

A girlfriend of mine has some pretty exciting stuff going on, since I am at a lull right now, I have to  depend on others for excitement.  On a whim and with some encouragement from several friends she decided to “try out” to be a bachelorette on The Bachelor #13.  We’re (her friends) are all very excited about this!! 

Over the weekend she decided to fill out the small questionnaire online and email in a picture of herself.  Yesterday, she got an email from the casting department asking that she send in some “vacation pictures” (aka bikini pics) and a interview video.  Here is the email that she received…

Hello,

Thank you for your interest in The Bachelor. Your information has been
reviewed and we would like you to submit a tape of yourself for further
consideration.

 Please find attached two forms:
1)            Bachelorette app. (PDF)

2)            The Bachelor Tape Instructions

Print out the application and hand-write your information.  Sign and mail
with your tape (do not send a copy of the app., we need the original signed
document).
Tape submission instructions are also attached. In addition, here are few
suggestions to ensure your tape is considered:

·      Choose a well-lit area – avoid standing near
mirrors or windows

·      Be sure to get a full-length body shot

·      Check the tape before you submit

Include some recent pictures of yourself including full-length (recent
vacation photos, etc.)

Please send the application, pictures, and tape together by June 23rd.

Just a heads up about the casting and travel dates.  If you are chosen as one
of the finalists, you would need to be available August 21st-23rd for Casting Finalists Weekend; we will pay for your travel and hotel expenses for the duration of your casting stay. At that time, you will meet with our casting team and producers.

Please note that filming is scheduled to begin October 13th for up to six
consecutive weeks. However, if you are not chosen as one of the final four
bachelorettes, taping may last up to 10 days only. 

We look forward to receiving your materials.

–
Best,
Emilee —–
Casting Producer

Now, we are trying to get it together and make her video and send in the info by the deadline date.  If you want to see the questionnaire and video questions they’re after the jump.

Why I Love BBC America!!

Two Words!!! A show called “Transvestite Wives”!!! I’m flipping through the channels, following a day of re-cooperation from a nasty cold. As I’m flipping through the channel guide I saw the two most wonderful words that put together mean Blogging gold!! “Transvestite Wives”. It’s a fabulous show!! Basically it profiles men that are “normal” during the day and then at night and on the weekends they dress up as women. Oh, joy!!!! There’s nothing I love better than a Hot Tranny Mess!!

Here are a few pics from the show’s web site…

Home toilet use for women!!

Last night I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends.  We were chit chatting, blah blah blah…  She asks me to hold on, in the background I hear water swooshing, gulping and gurggling. 

She gets back on the phone and I ask her, “Are you plunging the toilet?”  She replies, “The toilet is backed up and my husband will kill me if he finds out!” 

All right, all right.  I can feel the heat in my cheeks, my eyes are all aglow, goosebumps on my skin.  Now, if anyone knows me, they know I don’t back down from the difficult questions.  Like a 2 year old, here I go…

“Did you take a really big shit and flush too much paper?”   She said, No.

“Did you little boy flush his diaper down the toilet?”  She said, No.

Ok, I was hoping not to get to this question, but here it is.  “Did you flush a tampon down the toilet?”  She said, yes.  I said, “Don’t you know you never flush feminine products down your home toilet?”  She said, “yes, but I’m too lazy to properly wrap the products and throw them in the garbage.”  She said it also makes her sick to do so.  (Please keep in mind that all the while I’m asking her these questions, she is plunging the darned toilet.) 

Then she starts explaining that this is not the first time that this has happened, and the her hubbie in the past has expressed extreme distaste when she does this.  So she’s standing in her bathroom at 11pm vigorously plunging the toilet because she not only flushed the tampon, but the PLASTIC applicator and the plastic wrapper.  Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!  And she’s trying to clear the toilet before her husband comes upstairs and catches her.  Vigorously, she plunges on…  Finally, I hear the draining of the toilet and the sweet gurgle at the end.

********AFTER THOUGHT********

So, I posted this blog with a final thought in mind, and I never expressed that thought.  Here it is…

The moral to this story is, (sorry that I have to use CAPS, but it’s necessary) DON’T FLUSH YOUR TAMPONS DOWN THE TOILET IN YOUR OWN HOME!!!!!!  They are not good for your plumbing.  I’ve spoken to a plumber about this and he says that they can get stuck in the pipes, because, hmmm, they swell, they’re made of cotton and they absorb liquids!!  Save your plumbing, and wrap the item in TP.  That’s all I have to say about this…

Weekend Drama Wrap-Up

This weekend was very busy in the the drama category.  There were 2 different episodes  of drama.  First being, the ever present rift between 2 of my girlfriends which came to a head Friday night, technically Saturday morning.  Of course, it was over a man!!  The second being, the long break-up sequence between my brother and his girlfriend.

Let’s examine episode #1. 

Here’s the looong story.  A little over 2 years ago, Thelma dated Ken for 3 months.  Ken dumped Thelma, because he thought she partied too much and spent too much time with her friends.  This totally broke Thelma’s heart.  Because they live in the same neighborhood, after several months they became friends.  Last February, Ken was hanging out with Thelma helping her with some home improvements, and he confessed to her that he was in love with her and wanted him back.  Thelma, quickly rebuffed his advances saying that she had moved on and it was too late!!! 

The very next night, Thelma had a party at her house, where Ken met a girl named Louise.  Louise and Ken went home together that night, and subsequently spent the last year together.  Here we are at the present time, last Wednesday, Ken admitted to Louise that he didn’t love her the way she wanted him to love her, and Louise ended the relationship. 

The issues at hand.  Thelma and Louise never became close because of this situation.  There’s always been a bit of tension between the two.  When Louise and Ken first got together, he asked her to keep the situation quiet because he was still working out his feelings for Thelma and he wanted to tell her himself.  After a month, she finally told Thelma because Louise needed her to know.  Thelma gave Louise her blessing to go ahead and date Ken.  Although, Thelma gave Louise her blessing, Louise has always felt that Thelma still had feeling for Ken that she never admitted to.  End of the situation!! 

Fast forward to Friday night.  Friday was set up as a girls night.  It was myself, Peaches, Louise and Thelma.  We were all drinking having a good time.  We first went to a bar called Krem, and it was less than fun.  I write about it in another blog.  After a bit, we went to a neighborhood bar called Loom.  When we got there, it was game on, the girls proceded to get trashed!!  I was driving home, so I took it easy.  I left the bar first.  Then Peaches left.  So, it was just Thelma and Louise.  So, Louise started bringing up the whole Ken thing and trying to explain it away.  She was trying to smooth things over with Thelma because they have several friends in common and they always see each other out.  Thelma, apparently, had no wish to discuss the past with Louise.  Of course they’re both drunk by this time.  And as I heard the proceeding details it got bad!!  Louise is talking to Thelma, Thelma interrupts Louise and says, “You’re such a liar, I went on vacation to Mexico, and while on vacation I decided I was going to take Ken back, then I come home to find out that you’re fucking the man I love!”  She pushes Louise and walks out of the bar, gets in a cab and goes home!! 

At 3:30 in the morning, I get a phone call from a drunk, hysterical crying Louise.  She was saying that all her doubts and fears were realized.  The whole time Louise was dating Ken she had fears and jealousy that Thelma secretly had feelings for Ken.  And Friday night, her fears were realized.  Now, she fears that Thelma and Ken will reunite and those feelings scare her to death.

Uggg…the drama!!!

Episode #2…

Coming Soon…I haven’t the energy to post any more about the weekend drama!!

The Big "O"

A friend of mine told me this story, I couldn’t help but re-tell it here…

My friend Charlene* has been seeing a new guy, his name is Ryan*. They have been dating for about a month or so. If you don’t know this by now, girls tell each other everything. So, for the past few weeks I have been hearing about Ryan and their dates, I also met Ryan 2 weeks ago at a BBQ he had at his place. I KNOW my friend Charlene and I know that she’s not really “into” this guy. He’s very nice, gentle kind of person and would like nothing better than to make Charlene happy. But there is no passion in their relationship, the way she explains it, everything is just “OK”.

So, Charlene was telling me that she was talking to her dad about her relationship with Ryan. Charlene’s dad is a RIOT!! I love him!! So, she was telling her dad and brother about her ho-hum relationship. So, her dad reluctantly ask’s about “the sex.” He asked her how the sexing was and she reluctantly answers that it was o.k. Then he asks her if she had an “Organism” with Ryan (you can laugh here). And she replies, no. Then he asks her, how he was “south of the border.” She stopped answering at this point.

As Father’s Day is upon us, I couldn’t help sharing this story with all 3 of my readers!! Thanks!!

*Names have been changed to protect the anonimity of my friends and their boyfriends.