The New Dating Rules…according to me!!!

Since becoming single about 6 months ago, I have been going through several life changes.  These changes include improving myself inside and out!  Different hair color, new clothes, working out, etc..  You get the picture.

In these last months, I have been actively dating, and man o’ man, has it been interesting!!  So, yesterday I was at lunch with a good friend and we came up with a set of rules that every young, single woman should adhere to.  I am not the only person in my group of friends that is going through life changes…  So, to my friends who have dumped the dead weight in their life, this is for you too!!  Here goes…

THE RULEZ!

1. No Insta-Fam’s -  Since myself and my friends are childless, it would be best for us to date childless men as well.

2. No Baba Ghanoush -  Due to cultural/religious issues no men of Middle Eastern descent

3. No Peter Pan’s -  No men over 40, there probably is a problem with a man who’s over 40 and never been married.  Let’s be serious here people!

4. No Short-Armed Alligators -  simply put we don’t want me with arms too short to reach their wallet or check.

5. No Self-Employed Consultants -  a Consultant is proper English for “unemployed”, no thanks!

6. No pool boys/gardeners -  pool boys and gardeners make minimum wage, nuff said!

7. No Roommates/Bunk Beds -  if he’s out of college then he shouldn’t have roommates, need I say more…

8. No Left-Handed Pirates -  chronic/secret masturbation, if they’re not man enough to own up, then there is a HUGE problem!!!

9. No Self-Centered Pricks -  we don’t like selfish dickheads!

10. No Couch Commandos -  we don’t like men that can’t het their asses off the freakin’ couch!!!!

There you have it!  If you feel I have left something off this list, hit me back and let me know what you think I should add and I will take it into consideration!!

Have a great day!

If you’re a Howard Stern Fan…

If you listen to Howard Stern on satellite radio, either Sirius or XM, (I have Sirius) then you know that Howard’s limo driver, Ronny Mund, wear’s a cologne called Mambo by Liz Claiborne.  It’s been a topic of conversation these last few days because Ronny wears a lot of cologne.  So, I looked up this cologne on www.target.com and www.amazon.com and found these comments from Mambo users.  Here are some of the comments, I think they’re hilarious, so if you’re a Howard Stern fan, you’ll find them hilarious as well…  ENJOY!!

Average Guest Rating: 4 stars

1-6 (of 6 Reviews)

November 5, 2008

5 stars

MY JEWGINNIE LOVES IT

Reviewer:  MINNIE "MINI" DRIVER “GO F#CK YOURSELF”  (LET’S F#CK SOME WH*RES)  See all my reviews

MY GRANDFATHER , ER UM SUGAR-GRAN PAPPY LOVES IT. I WORK AT RICKY’S AND ALWAYS KNOW WHEN HE IS NEAR , I CAN SMELL HIM COMING IN FROM THE PARKING LOT. I HAVE TO TELL MY REAL BOYFRIEND TO HIDE WHIL I GIVE THE OLD GEEZER A LAP DANCE THEN I HAVE TO BATHE IN STRAIGHT BLEACH TO GET THE OLD MAN SMELL OFF OF ME . MAMBO , TURNING GIRLS OFF SINCE 1960 , WHICH IS THE SHELF LIFE ON A BOTTLE

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November 5, 2008

1 stars

Not So Good

Reviewer:  acme  See all my reviews

I got this cologne in hopes of attracting a lady friend of mine, but she fell in love with some painter. I feel so cheated.

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November 5, 2008

5 stars

This is great Man Musk!

Reviewer:  Elliott Offen “Elliott Offen”  (Ganster Talk, NY)  See all my reviews

This is great man musk. I use it to pick up regular chics as well as strippers. I am about meeting girls, I am about meeting guys, and if you dont like it (you know what to do).

I wear this in my 8, 10, 50, and 100 passenger limo and no matter how many people are in the vechicle, they know I am driving because they smell my Mambo.

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November 5, 2008

5 stars

Use Liberally

Reviewer:  C. Turner  See all my reviews

My dirty secret is having my man-pal Steve Langford lather me up with Mambo. He does so without using his hands, if you get my drift. Just thinking of him makes my parts tangy.

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7 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

November 5, 2008

5 stars

I’m about meeting girls, I’m amout meeting guys.

Reviewer:  Opie “Ricky man!”  (Yonkers, NY)  See all my reviews

If you want to smell like a 5 and a half foot tall limo driver then Mambo is for you. Hose this stuff on and you’ll be cursing out co-workers and phone callers in no time.

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7 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

November 4, 2008

5 stars

Its Great, Whats your problem

Reviewer:  Rickyman “Jewtalian”  (New York City)  See all my reviews

If you are like me, into meeting guys and meeting girls, you will love this cologne. I keep at least 50 bottles in my fridge. The bad thing is my wife had no room for her medication and had to leave me. Thats ok because I reinvented myself as a Rickyman! Who needs her! Whats your problem! Get outta here!

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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful: MAMBO EVEN NORMAL GIRLS WILL LIKE IT, November 1, 2008 By  Nelson “dominicano” (canada) – See all my reviews    SO yeah… as soon as i put this on robin,lisa g and beth were all over me.. this might be the best cologne out there and ppl can smell it 7 feet from me…strippers love it, even normal girls buy it while it lasts.. bababui to u all Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful: STRIPPER’S LOVE IT, November 3, 2008 By  Joseph L. Laura – See all my reviews    IM RICKY’S MAN IM ABOUT MEETING GIRLS IM ABOUT MEETING GUYS AND WHO EVER DOESNT LIKE THAT CAN GO EFF THEMSELVES CAUSE IM RICKY’S MAN AND THAT’S WHAT RICKY’S MAN IS ALL ABOUT BUY MAMBO! MUND OUT! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Good but not for everyone., November 4, 2008 By  T. McGowan (USA) – See all my reviews    I only gave Mambo 3 stars because it’s not for everyone. If you’re all about meetin’ girls and meetin’ guys and havin’ FUN then it’s perfect, if not then it’s not for you. Luckily that’s what I’m all about. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Are you a man or a Mund?, November 1, 2008 By  Domo J. Kingscliff (Half Moon Bay, CA USA) – See all my reviews Are you a man or a Mund? My sons Sonny, Michael & Fredo loves this stuff and uses it all the time. If you keep the bottles in the refrigerator it will last for like 8 years. For the mature male 65 years or older. Also good for pet dander and eczema. It Makes me feel like a real Italian I am a Jewgene. Mambo put me over the top to becoming one. Before Mambo I was struggling to become Italian but after Mambo the Jewgene transformation took place. I keep 10 bottles in my fridge at all times. The downside is that my wife Bonnie left me because of my obsession with Mambo. Well she left because I cheated on her with strippers and whorahs but who cares. She doesnt know what shes missin! Mambo and Jewgenes for life! I Drove my wife away My wife Bonnie hated this Mambo, she said I smelled like a guido. I told her I am trying to be Italian, so I wear Armani sunglasses and Mambo perfume. She was disgusted with me and left me. I threw away my rubbers and spend my time at strip clubs, they LOVE accept me and my Mambo!!! -Ronnie Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comments (2)

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Mature men like Mambo, November 4, 2008 By  Ronald G. Felthoven (seattle, WA USA) – See all my reviews    Mambo is the classic choice for the mature Jewgene. Keep it in the refrigerator for an even more intense Mambo experience. Wear it in your limo for a Mambo clam bake. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: PEACE AND LOVE, November 4, 2008 By  David Clark “Dbax” (Peoria, Az. United States) – See all my reviews    I used this stuff to fix the petcock on my limo. Worked perfectly. Highly recommended! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: My friend Gregg says it helps him score, November 4, 2008 By  S. Dean (BFE) – See all my reviews    My friend Gregg P. said that he scores like crazy with coworkers and regular girls because of Mambo. He’s about meeting guys and girls, and this scent has really helped him. I bought some, but no such luck for me. Maybe it’s because I am hideous looking. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful: What’s your problem?!?!?, November 4, 2008 By  Edison Detroit – See all my reviews My friend Ronnie recommended this to me. He said between this and skull t-shirts the women won’t leave him alone. I’m thinking about getting a lizard tatooed on my arm. I just wish I could get ridda dese wifes!!! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Great cologne for mature men, October 31, 2008 By  A. Siegel “MENSA Drop-out” (San Diego, CA USA) – See all my reviews    This cologne will improve your scores, man. It’s definitely for a mature man, and even regular girls will like it. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. , August 18, 2008 By  Haris A. Naqvi – See all my reviews    i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

Just Because…

…I think it’s funny!!!

Weekend in Review

This weekend a bunch of us headed over to Wrigleyville in Chicago to attend the 12th Annual 12 Bars of Xmas. TBOX, as it is more lovingly referred to, was yet again a fantastic time. Here’s a video short of the days activities…

Remembering OXI Day…

Yesterday marked the 67th Anniversary of Oxi (pronounced O-hee) day. October 28, is celebrated throughout Greece, Επέτειος του «’Οχι», Anniversary of the “No”) The story goes like this… (the following is from Wikipedia)

This ultimatum, which was presented to Metaxas by the Italian ambassador in Greece, Emanuele Grazzi, on October 28, 1940, at dawn (04:00 AM), after a party in the German embassy in Athens, demanded that Greece allow Axis forces to enter Greek territory and occupy certain unspecified “strategic locations” or otherwise face war. It was allegedly answered with a single word: όχι or no. Most scholars dismiss the use of the word ‘Oxi’ as an urban legend, claiming that the actual reply was the French phrase “Alors, c’est la guerre” (“Then it is war“). In response to Metaxas’s refusal, Italian troops stationed in Albania, then an Italian protectorate, attacked the Greek border at 05:30 AM. Metaxas’s reply marked the beginning of Greece’s participation in World War II (see Greco-Italian War and Battle of Greece). On the morning of October 28th the Greek population took to the streets, irrespective of political affiliation, shouting ‘okhi’. From 1942, it was celebrated as Oxi Day.

State of Preparedness

The panic is now starting to set in. I leave for Greece in a few days and I am starting to freak outa bit. I always get a little panicky before a trip and this is the point where I start to get tripped out. Here are my worries…

• Leaving my house for the exended amount of time
• Leaving my 18 year old cat by himself
• The long trip

Let’s address these concerns one at a time. Ok, I do not live alone, but I live with my brother who doesn’t take care of shit!!! Last year when I came home from my trip, he didn’t cut the grass the whole time, didn’t pay any bills and didn’t do anything around the house. I came back to a complete fucking mess!!

Next, my “old man.” He’s a poor guy that needs a bit of attention. God knows my brother won’t even look at him, so I’ve enlisted the help of a friend to come by every 2 days and make sure he’s alive, feed him, clean his litter and play with him a bit!!

Next it’s always a bit nerve-racking to be gone for so long, and to be taking such a long trip. But I have to keep concentrated on the reward of seeing my parents and lounging on the beach for the next few weeks.

Good times…

Weird Sightings…

Have you seen the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry dates the woman with “man hands”? Or one of the many episodes where Elaine wears the funky socks?

Well, there is a woman that rides my train with very manly hands. So, I took some “undercover” pics of her hands for your enjoyment.

Then, a few weeks ago, I was at lunch with my friend Christy and we saw “weird socks guy.” So here is a fella not bad looking with awful taste in clothing articles.

In case you can’t tell, he is wearing white socks with large red stars.

What possess these people to dress like this at work? (not the woman with “man hands”) But the gentleman posted above. Now, I’ll admit I’m not the best dressed at work (I’m more casual than I should be) but if I were a man wearing a suit with a T-shirt, and white socks with bright red stars, there would be ramifications.

These are just random sightings that I found amusing that I wanted to share with you!!

Weekend Events

Well, here it is Sunday night and I wanted to update you all on my weekend activities. I had a great weekend!! I did a lot of different things and I wanted to let all my adoring fans in on the fun!! Firstly, Friday night I went out with the girls for a lovely Sushi dinner at Butterfly Sushi Bar & Thai Restaurant. I was my first ever foray into eating sushi at a restaurant. I thought it was wonderful!!

Saturday, was Harry Potter day!! It is a tradition for my friend Jodi and I to see every Harry Potter movie together, so we had plans to go Saturday night and see the movie. Also, in town promoting the Harry Potter movie was Oliver and James Phelps (they play Fred and George Weasley in the HP films) they were signing autographs at a theater near my home so, I trekked out to the theater where I waited 2 hours in line to pay $20 for the boys to sign my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I think it was well worth it, yes, a little crazy, but I wanted something to “authentic” so to speak. Here are some pics from the book signing.


(that’s my book he’s signing)

After the book signing, I went over to my friend Jodi’s and we went and saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The movie was wonderful!! What I am really waiting for is the seventh book due out next Saturday!! You (the reader), must be thinking that I’m a little obsessed, yes, I am a bit obsessed, but it’s a healthy obsession!! This, too, shall pass!! Today was yet another wonderful day!! I went out to a place called Goose Lake were my friend Celisa and her husband had been camping for the weekend. We went swimming, did some fishing and hung out and drank beers!! It was totally fun and very beautiful!! Here are some pics of the lake.

(this was the first fish I ever caught, but don’t worry, I threw him back!)

This week I am going to get a fishing license and pole and make my entrance into the fishing world legal!! HA!!!

Goofing off!!

Here are a couple of videos of how we blow off steam at my office…Have fun!!!

Dearest Diary

Dear Blog,

Tonight I went out and was soo tired that I left the bar early!! It’s 1:53am and I’m sitting here typing this damn blog and watch Pretty Woman for the billionth time, instead of hanging out at the bar. Blog, does this mean something? Am I growing up? Am I too lame? I’m too tired to figure it out!