Since becoming single about 6 months ago, I have been going through several life changes.  These changes include improving myself inside and out!  Different hair color, new clothes, working out, etc..  You get the picture.

In these last months, I have been actively dating, and man o’ man, has it been interesting!!  So, yesterday I was at lunch with a good friend and we came up with a set of rules that every young, single woman should adhere to.  I am not the only person in my group of friends that is going through life changes…  So, to my friends who have dumped the dead weight in their life, this is for you too!!  Here goes…

THE RULEZ!

1. No Insta-Fam’s -  Since myself and my friends are childless, it would be best for us to date childless men as well.

2. No Baba Ghanoush -  Due to cultural/religious issues no men of Middle Eastern descent

3. No Peter Pan’s -  No men over 40, there probably is a problem with a man who’s over 40 and never been married.  Let’s be serious here people!

4. No Short-Armed Alligators -  simply put we don’t want me with arms too short to reach their wallet or check.

5. No Self-Employed Consultants -  a Consultant is proper English for “unemployed”, no thanks!

6. No pool boys/gardeners -  pool boys and gardeners make minimum wage, nuff said!

7. No Roommates/Bunk Beds -  if he’s out of college then he shouldn’t have roommates, need I say more…

8. No Left-Handed Pirates -  chronic/secret masturbation, if they’re not man enough to own up, then there is a HUGE problem!!!

9. No Self-Centered Pricks -  we don’t like selfish dickheads!

10. No Couch Commandos -  we don’t like men that can’t het their asses off the freakin’ couch!!!!

There you have it!  If you feel I have left something off this list, hit me back and let me know what you think I should add and I will take it into consideration!!

Have a great day!

There is this whole Green movement going on out there.  I was watching one of the news magazine shows last week (either 20/20 or Dateline) and they were interviewing a woman who recycles so much that she only has 1 can of garbage a month.  I thought about that and decided, I don’t like to compost and buying in bulk doesn’t work for me, and I’m not ready for that at this point in my life. 

So, today, I was reading about going shampoo and conditioner free.  And I thought, “this could be my small contribution to the green movement!”  I’ve tried a shampoo and conditioner brand called Organix that’s not harmful to the environment.  It wasn’t great, my hair was in awful shape!!  A HOT MESS!!! 

Going “poo-free” calls for using baking soda as shampoo and apple cider vinegar as conditioner.  I’m going to do some more investigating into this movement and set up a controlled experiment.  Especially, some before and after pics!  I will keep you all posted…

If you listen to Howard Stern on satellite radio, either Sirius or XM, (I have Sirius) then you know that Howard’s limo driver, Ronny Mund, wear’s a cologne called Mambo by Liz Claiborne.  It’s been a topic of conversation these last few days because Ronny wears a lot of cologne.  So, I looked up this cologne on www.target.com and www.amazon.com and found these comments from Mambo users.  Here are some of the comments, I think they’re hilarious, so if you’re a Howard Stern fan, you’ll find them hilarious as well…  ENJOY!!

Average Guest Rating: 4 stars

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful: MAMBO EVEN NORMAL GIRLS WILL LIKE IT, November 1, 2008 By  Nelson “dominicano” (canada) – See all my reviews    SO yeah… as soon as i put this on robin,lisa g and beth were all over me.. this might be the best cologne out there and ppl can smell it 7 feet from me…strippers love it, even normal girls buy it while it lasts.. bababui to u all Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful: STRIPPER’S LOVE IT, November 3, 2008 By  Joseph L. Laura – See all my reviews    IM RICKY’S MAN IM ABOUT MEETING GIRLS IM ABOUT MEETING GUYS AND WHO EVER DOESNT LIKE THAT CAN GO EFF THEMSELVES CAUSE IM RICKY’S MAN AND THAT’S WHAT RICKY’S MAN IS ALL ABOUT BUY MAMBO! MUND OUT! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Good but not for everyone., November 4, 2008 By  T. McGowan (USA) – See all my reviews    I only gave Mambo 3 stars because it’s not for everyone. If you’re all about meetin’ girls and meetin’ guys and havin’ FUN then it’s perfect, if not then it’s not for you. Luckily that’s what I’m all about. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: Are you a man or a Mund?, November 1, 2008 By  Domo J. Kingscliff (Half Moon Bay, CA USA) – See all my reviews Are you a man or a Mund? My sons Sonny, Michael & Fredo loves this stuff and uses it all the time. If you keep the bottles in the refrigerator it will last for like 8 years. For the mature male 65 years or older. Also good for pet dander and eczema. It Makes me feel like a real Italian I am a Jewgene. Mambo put me over the top to becoming one. Before Mambo I was struggling to become Italian but after Mambo the Jewgene transformation took place. I keep 10 bottles in my fridge at all times. The downside is that my wife Bonnie left me because of my obsession with Mambo. Well she left because I cheated on her with strippers and whorahs but who cares. She doesnt know what shes missin! Mambo and Jewgenes for life! I Drove my wife away My wife Bonnie hated this Mambo, she said I smelled like a guido. I told her I am trying to be Italian, so I wear Armani sunglasses and Mambo perfume. She was disgusted with me and left me. I threw away my rubbers and spend my time at strip clubs, they LOVE accept me and my Mambo!!! -Ronnie Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comments (2)

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Mature men like Mambo, November 4, 2008 By  Ronald G. Felthoven (seattle, WA USA) – See all my reviews    Mambo is the classic choice for the mature Jewgene. Keep it in the refrigerator for an even more intense Mambo experience. Wear it in your limo for a Mambo clam bake. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: PEACE AND LOVE, November 4, 2008 By  David Clark “Dbax” (Peoria, Az. United States) – See all my reviews    I used this stuff to fix the petcock on my limo. Worked perfectly. Highly recommended! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: My friend Gregg says it helps him score, November 4, 2008 By  S. Dean (BFE) – See all my reviews    My friend Gregg P. said that he scores like crazy with coworkers and regular girls because of Mambo. He’s about meeting guys and girls, and this scent has really helped him. I bought some, but no such luck for me. Maybe it’s because I am hideous looking. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful: What’s your problem?!?!?, November 4, 2008 By  Edison Detroit – See all my reviews My friend Ronnie recommended this to me. He said between this and skull t-shirts the women won’t leave him alone. I’m thinking about getting a lizard tatooed on my arm. I just wish I could get ridda dese wifes!!! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Great cologne for mature men, October 31, 2008 By  A. Siegel “MENSA Drop-out” (San Diego, CA USA) – See all my reviews    This cologne will improve your scores, man. It’s definitely for a mature man, and even regular girls will like it. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. , August 18, 2008 By  Haris A. Naqvi – See all my reviews    i bought this from Liz Claiorne. I received on next day. It is excellent . I like this cologne too much. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink  Comment

I’m back, BITCHES!!  Yes, that’s right I’m back and more FAB than ever!!  This weekend has been quite a whirlwind.  It started off Friday, I was supposed to have a date on Friday night, but I got an email Friday afternoon cancelling.  So, I decided to go to my cousin’s bar and hang with the family (i.e. my brother and cousin).  I was going to go and have a drink, maybe a bite to eat then go home.  Well, no such luck, one of my brother’s friends was there and we had a VERY interesting evening.  There was alcohol flying all around that bar.  It was a lot of fun, the most fun I’ve had in a very long time!!

After a long morning of recovering from the previous nights events, Saturday night, I went to the New Kids on the Block concert.  Not exactly what I have in mind for a Saturday night, but I decided that maybe I needed a change in scenery.  I don’t usually hang out with the girls I went with and I thought it would be a good bonding experience.  Also, the opening act was Natasha Bedingfield and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her!!

I knew there would be a huge amount of cheesiness, let me just say that I was NOT disappointed. 

The Girls loving NKOTB

There was pyrotechnics, synchronized choreography, costume changes just to name a few.  Imagine being in an arena with 20,000 screaming 30 year old women.  Holy Moly!!  Actually, not a pretty sight.  During the concert I was taking notes of all the cheesy things that were going on…

• Flowers on the video screens when they were singing a slow song
• Women in the audience dressing as if it were 1986
• Our Cheesy “I (Heart) NKOTB” t-shirts
• The memorial during the middle of the concert of all their favorite actors that passed, including family members
• Each of the band members got to sing a song all by themselves on stage
• Piano in the middle of floor of the audience
• The costume change into all white outfits, the stage is draped in white drapes, fog covering the stage
• Then they changed again into Celtics jerseys
• Four girl dances in coordinating outfits
• They performed the same dances to the old songs they performed to in the 1980’s
  

  Only at the NKOTB concert!! Is it 1986?

• Oh and the cheesiest moment of the night goes to Jordan.  He was singing a song by himself on stage and he was wearing a white button down shirt and as he was singing the song there was a fan blowing on him from the bottom up.  Then!  All of a sudden!  His shirt flies open and the on-stage camera zooms in on his abs, so his abs are on the large video screens in the arena. 

All in all, I had a great time hanging out with the girls.  It’s a concert that I never thought, in a million years, I would have attended.  It’s something I can say that I have done and check it off of my list of things to do before I die.

Oh, P.S., my friend Christy is going to the NKOTB concert at the end of the month.  Christy, I have an “I (heart) NKOTB” t-shirt for you!!  Only worn once!

So, I’m officially back from Greece and I had a wonderful time!!  My trip to Greece came at the perfect time for me.  If you read this blog regularly, then you know why, if you don’t read this blog, then scroll down 2 posts and then you’ll know why.  My object for the trip was to clear my head, remove myself from the drama that was happening here, and to spend lots of quality time with my family while working on my tan.  I wanted my biggest worry to be making my tan even.  I left all my worries and anxities here in the states. 

I believe that I accomplished that goal.  I feel refreshed and optomistic about the future.  I’m well rested, and I am thinking of going back to Greece for the holidays, just for a week, that is, if my parents don’t come out here for the holidays.  All I have to do is afford the ticket!!! 

Now that I’m back, work has been going decently.  I’m not a big fan of my job.  But I am here because I need to pay the bills.  As are most people who work.  There are some changes going on in my department, some good and some bad, but we’ll see what happens in the end.

Although, I had a great trip, and work is going ok, I have had some awful days in the few days I’ve been home.  Upon my return, I noticed that my cat (he’s 19.5 years old) wasn’t feeling well.  At first, I thought he was stressed that I had been gone for a few weeks.  He’s always a bit ragged looking when I return from a trip.  At first, that’s what I thought, but in the first 24 hours of my return, I saw him go from bad to worse.  It was in his “worse” stage that I knew what was happwning to him, he was in Kidney failure.  I had seen the same symptoms before in another cat I had, who died 3 years ago.  Now, I knew it was happening to, Cat (yes, that’s his name, nothing else ever stuck).  So, I did the hardest thing I ever had to do, I made an appointment at the vet to have him…  I know it was the best thing to do for him, but I have had Cat since I was 13, and it was very difficult appointment to keep.  He was a wonderful cat, I miss him terribly!! 

In my grieving, I feel like I have been sad for months.  In fact, I HAVE been sad for months.  I was sad in the last month or so of my relationship, I was sad when I ended my relationship and now I’m sad about my cat.  So, as of today, the sadness will end!!!  It’s a new month, and this month will be better than the last 4 months!!! 

Stay tuned…

It’s that time of year again…  This weekend is Labor Day Weekend, a weekend that traditionally signifies the end of summer.   

On Monday, I will be taking my yearly trip to Greece.  I will be gone 3 weeks!!  YIPPEEE!!!  Summer doesn’t end in Greece until October.  So, I will be basking on the beach for the next few weeks without a care in the world!!!  The pic you see above, I will be looking at that until September 23!!!  AAAHHHHH….

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!!

SMOOCHES!!

When I decided to write this blog (which was, yesterday) I struggled with the point of view in which I would write my story. This story is very, very personal to me. Something in which I have avoided doing on this blog in the past. I decided it was a story that I needed to tell. A story, although, personal, I feel people need to read. It may be a bit vengeful, but the truth needs to be told, I think. It started out as a love story, but then that love turned and bit me in the ass. It’s a story about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and why he is my ex-boyfriend. I have referenced him before in this blog (Maytag Man/Tidy Bowl Man). In the end, it’s a story of my heartbreak.

I always come up with the title first, then I write. I have several titles in my head.

Why my ex is a Loser!
Why he said “I Love You” but decided to cheat and break my heart anyway
What goes around…

I could go on and on.

I never thought my break up with Maytag man/tidy bowl man would end up this way. Hell, I never thought we would break up!! I thought he was in it for the long-haul. If there is one thing that I want to step away from this relationship is with class and dignity, however, that’s not how the relationship ended.

I think I need to start with how it began for you, the reader, to understand…

Paul (that’s his name) and I started dating August 2007. Things started off well enough, a few dates here and there, then meeting of the friends. It was quite a whirlwind romance. We lived about 2 hours from each other so our weekends were our time. We had some really great times!! He even gave me a key to his house 2 months after we started dating. We had some talks about what might happen in the future, I explained to him, at one point, that my plans for life were marriage and a family, and if he didn’t want those things he needed to tell me. He told me that he was looking forward to starting a family one day. We even talked about what would happen if I got pregnant, how he would feel. He said that it wouldn’t be the exact way he planned on having a family, but he would be really excited about being a dad.

Fast forward to December. Were at a restaurant for dinner Xmas eve and he tells me that he loves me. Great!! I love him too. I thought I saw good things for us. Then we planned a trip to Las Vegas in February for my birthday. Four uninterrupted days together. Bliss!! We had a great time. No problems, very eb and flow. It was his first time in Vegas and I was happy that I could share that experience with him. From how our relationship was progressing and what Paul was telling me, I thought we were on the road to a future.

After we get home from Vegas, he asked me if I would go home with him for Easter and meet his family. I was like, sure, I would live to meet your family. We even talked about him coming to Greece to meet my family. He once told me that he would never take a girl home to meet his parents unless he was serious about her. So I went home with him for an overnight visit with his parents. A bit uncomfortable for me, but I endured for him. Around this time, Paul was getting phone calls from a recruiter to go and work for a company out of state. This job would move him further away from where I live. I wasn’t exactly happy about this, since he always stated to me that he would love to move to Chicago and work in the city. I asked him if he got the job what would happen to our relationship. He said, “let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.” Okay! Fine with me!!

Things in our relationship had come very easy for us. We got along well. Things never got too heavy. Which was fine. I don’t like to stress the small things. I guess we had the best of both worlds, we could be bf/gf on the weekends and during the week we had plenty of space to do as we choose, but the exclusivity of our relationship was always understood. Soon, Paul got the job offer from the out-of-state company which meant he would be moving, which was fine, but that move would mean that we would be living 3 hours from each other. Immediately, I was worried about how we would maintain our relationship, let alone try and build on it some more. Would our relationship stand an even greater distance? How could we grow closer if we were living further from each other? Furthermore, he always expressed to me that he wanted to try and get a job in Chicago, but he failed to even look for jobs in the city. But the company that hired him is a great company for the type of work he does. So I started thinking about how we could get over this road block.

Now, things become funny…

While I was helping him get his house I’m order so he can sell it and move out of state, I later discovered that he began searching the Internet for women. While I spent hours helping him paint cabinets, sweep and mop filthy wood floors, clean cob webs out of corners, wash nasty sheets and drapes, he was whoring himself out on the Internet. I only ever wanted us to be a team and learn to solve problems together, but I guess that was asking too much.

In mid-June, Paul started his new job. He moved and he grew more distant. He started calling me less, he used to call me every night, now he started calling me every other night. This is the time where his emails to other women were plentiful. At this time, he was emailing 6 or 7 different women. At the end of June he planned and went on a date with a girl he met on Match.com. Here is a string of emails that he had with a girl confirming plans for their date…

Re:Match.com Message:

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 11:15 PM

From: “Paul XXXXXXX” <XXXXXX@yahoo.com>

To:Rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi XXXXXX,

Yes, we’re on. Have you ever been to Mikey’s? It’s
down the street from Elsa’s. My brother recommended
it, so we can put the blame on him. I’m shooting for
7:30pm. Tell me if this is good for you.

Today was hectic. The owner of the house I put an
offer on turned all flakey, so now I’m looking again.
That’s fine; I wasn’t 100% with this one anyway. Who
would have thought it could be so hard in a buyer’s
market?

How was your day?

paul

_____________________________________________________________

Rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com wrote:Hi Paul:

Yep, we’re still on for tomorrow night. Looking
forward to meeting you. By the way, phones scare me
(at least initially), but here is my number …
(4XX) XXX-XXXX.

Meet you soon.

XXXXXXXXX

_____________________________________________________________________

Re:Match.com Message:

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 11:55 PM

From:

“Paul XXXXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>

To: rubxxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi XXXXXX,

how are you? How was your 4th? I had a very relaxing time in (enter state of residence here). Are you free this weekend? Look forward to hearing from you soon. Paul.

_____________________________________________________________________

From: <rubxxxxxxx@talkmatch.com>
To: <xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008 07:12 AM
Subject: Match.com Message: Hello

Hi Paul:

Good to hear from you. So glad to hear you had a great weekend (well deserved, I’m sure!). My holiday was great – I slept most of the day (very unlike me) and then traveled down to the Summerfest grounds to watch a good friend’s husband rock the Potawotami stage. The rest of the weekend was pretty tame.

With the exception of a work event Saturday night (I have to watch a “Best in Show” beagle throw out the first pitch at the Brewers game – don’t ask), I am wide open this weekend. Any thoughts?

Have a great day – it’s supposed to be beautiful!

XXXXXXXXX

____________________________________________________________________

Saturday, July 12, 2008 12:37 AM

From: “Paul XXXXXX” <Xxxxxx@yahoo.com>

To:rubxxxxx@talkmatch.com

Hi xxxxxxxx!

I’m up. I’ve been sick in bed all day. It was probably something i ate. I’ve got some family stuff on sunday that im going to be in milwaukee for. What time is the ballgame saturday for you?

Talk soon- paul

That weekend he was all over the internet looking for a “hook up”. He was responding to craigslist ads all weekend looking for a one night stand!! Here is one of the emails he sent out to someone looking for a one night stand…

Re: hi

Saturday, July 5, 2008 7:29 PM

From:

“Paul XXXXXX” XXXX@yahoo.com

To: pers-742366132@craigslist.org

Hey,

Just another quick note, to let you know about me. I’m

single, unattached. I’m at my house. I’m

relocating to xxxxxxxx, but I’m in town to check on

my place.

I really like being with women. I’m 38, and I like

fulfilling the role of the younger man. There’s

nothing I won’t do to satisfy you completely. We can

have a really good time, and no one will know. And if

I’m in town again, which i will be, you can look me up

again.

paul

That weekend I thought we were having a fight. If he wanted it to be over, it could have been over that weekend. But he called me 2 days later looking to make-up and move on with our relationship. He told me that he wanted to talk and work through our issues. But he continued to talk to girls on the internet. Here is one string of emails between Paul and some girl named Jackie that he met on Facebook…

Re:RE: Stormy outside
Sunday, July 20, 2008 1:52 AM
From:”Paul XXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>
To:jackie_xxxxxx@hotmail.com

Hey jackie, you up?

———-
Sent from AT&T’s Wireless network using Mobile Email

——Original Message——
From: JACKIE <jackie_xxxxx@hotmail.com>
To: “Paul XXXXX” <XXXXX@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008 01:27 PM
Subject: RE: Stormy outside

It’s not stormy outside today, but I wish it were it is so hot. Kinda like you! I was just thinking of you and thought I would drop you a note. Just when we got back into touch…we lose touch again… speaking of touching…I would love to be close to you right now…. touch you…feel your breath on my ear…your skin on mine…. just talk….

08 06:05:30 +0000> Subject: Stormy outside>
From: xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: jackie_xxxxxxx@hotmail.com> >

Hi jackie. Its stormy outside again. Its dark and rainy. I know a place where we can watch the storm come in alone. I want to kiss the rain water that is streaming down your naked body and watch the lightning sparkle in your dark eyes…>

Sent from AT&T’s Wireless network using Mobile Email

RE: Stormy outside
Friday, July 18, 2008 3:28 PM
From:”Paul XXXXXX” <xxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To:”JACKIE” <jackie_xxxxxx@hotmail.com>

I’m doing alright. It’s been a bit boring here after
work because I don’t live around here, but soon i’ll
start making connections and having fun. How about
you? Do you have a man in your life who treats you
like you deserve, or have you found someone who you
can pretend is me? I wouldn’t be offended if you did.
Actually, it’s a bit exciting…If you ever feel
lonely and bored, you can write me at night. It would
be fun to talk to you after I go to bed

I wonder what he would say or do over the phone, while he’s talking to her in bed? Would he spank it?????? You decide!!!

These emails were sent while Paul and I were supposed to be “working things out.” What a crock!!! So, here is the story of what went wrong with our relationship. The day I found all these emails I was devastated. I even found an email that he sent to himself from his cell phone with a picture of his penis. I’m sure he wanted to send it to the whores he has erotic chats with.

Paul told me a story once about his ex-wife. He told me the end of their marriage was pretty bad. He suspected that she had met someone online and that one day she told him that she needed to take a vacation by herself. He suspected that she went to meet this man she met online. Soon after, she left him. Paul took several pages out of her book and played them on me. He knew how it felt to have someone cheat, he knew the pain, yet, he decided that I somehow deserved to know this same pain. Our whole relationship was a sham. I was someone to pass his time because he said that he never wanted to date anyone in his town, because his buddies had slept with all the women, married and unmarried.

All I ever did was try to be loving and supportive to the man I loved and in the end I got shit on!!! I am truly hurt and bewildered by these events. In the end, though, I know that I my love was not meant for Paul. He was merely a stepping stone to someone wayyyy better.

I am loving the summer olympics!!  I especially love the swimmer’s body…OMG!!!  Here are some of my favorite of Michael Phelps.