The New Dating Rules…according to me!!!

Since becoming single about 6 months ago, I have been going through several life changes.  These changes include improving myself inside and out!  Different hair color, new clothes, working out, etc..  You get the picture.

In these last months, I have been actively dating, and man o’ man, has it been interesting!!  So, yesterday I was at lunch with a good friend and we came up with a set of rules that every young, single woman should adhere to.  I am not the only person in my group of friends that is going through life changes…  So, to my friends who have dumped the dead weight in their life, this is for you too!!  Here goes…

THE RULEZ!

1. No Insta-Fam’s -  Since myself and my friends are childless, it would be best for us to date childless men as well.

2. No Baba Ghanoush -  Due to cultural/religious issues no men of Middle Eastern descent

3. No Peter Pan’s -  No men over 40, there probably is a problem with a man who’s over 40 and never been married.  Let’s be serious here people!

4. No Short-Armed Alligators -  simply put we don’t want me with arms too short to reach their wallet or check.

5. No Self-Employed Consultants -  a Consultant is proper English for “unemployed”, no thanks!

6. No pool boys/gardeners -  pool boys and gardeners make minimum wage, nuff said!

7. No Roommates/Bunk Beds -  if he’s out of college then he shouldn’t have roommates, need I say more…

8. No Left-Handed Pirates -  chronic/secret masturbation, if they’re not man enough to own up, then there is a HUGE problem!!!

9. No Self-Centered Pricks -  we don’t like selfish dickheads!

10. No Couch Commandos -  we don’t like men that can’t het their asses off the freakin’ couch!!!!

There you have it!  If you feel I have left something off this list, hit me back and let me know what you think I should add and I will take it into consideration!!

Have a great day!

Weekend Drama Wrap-Up: Part 2

Arrgghh…the Drama continues…

Thelma and Louise strike again!!  If you’ve read my previous post about weekend drama (click here to read it) you know the back story. 

It’s come to the point where the mutual friends have to start choosing.  For the most part, when we want to do something we invite both Thelma and Louise.  Usually, if Louise knows that Thelma is attending she will not attend.  Thelma has no issue with Louise, she could care less is Louise hangs out with us.  Truthfully, the one person that is suffering from this situation is Louise.  She is missing out from all the fun because she just can’t get over the situation.  Boo Freaking Hooo!!  GET OVER IT!!!  So, now Louise is not speaking to me because she thinks I chose Thelma over her.  I really didn’t but that point is moot. 

When I found out that Louise was mad at me, I reached out and called her.  She didn’t answer the phone, so I left a voice-mail and told her that we needed to clear the air and to call me back.  Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I make 1 phone call.  I did my duty and sought out my hurt friend.  I will not call her again, I will not email her and beg her to call me back.  I do not play these childish games.  I have a TON of friends and a lot of them are waiting to make first string, so if there is an opening on the varsity team, then someone from the Jr. varsity team will get moved up!!  So, there!! 

I can’t stand all this fucking drama between the girls.   Thelma has offered to call Louise and apologize in order to clear the air.  But I told her that if her apology isn’t sincere, and if she truly doesn’t think she needs to aapologize then she shouldn’t call and aapologize.  That could possibly make the situation worse. 

Here I am today, 1 friend down, and possibly a little bit happier because I don’t have to deal with all the stupid, fucking bullshit!!  I prefer living in a cloud of ignorance.